im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
