Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
