We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
