Your face is a jimmy john
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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