It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
