but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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