This is not my ceiling
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
