google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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