and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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