Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
