So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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