best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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