I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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