i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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