chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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