Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
