my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize