How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
