you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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