apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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