At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
