oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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