Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
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Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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