I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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