Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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