are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
