remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
