my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
