I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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