I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
