My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
