If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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