I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
