Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
