Dual....:-)
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
