oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
