If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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