I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i love accidental penises.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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