my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
