but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
