can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
