I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
