there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize