garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I cannot find my penis.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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