I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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