I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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