it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
