My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
