we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
