He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
and you fell through a lawn chair
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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