i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
