I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize