You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
