It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?