Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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