i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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