she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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