so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
