i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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